Non-Violent Communication Framework

NVC Framework consists of four components namely

Observation(O): Clear and specific observations keeping assumptions/perceptions out of it on what happened.

Feelings(F): Emotions arising out of the observations made.

Needs(N): Needs behind those feelings.

Request(R): Specific request to other people.

You might be wondering this doesn’t work at my workplace all these feelings need and emotions fit in only at the personal place or with close family but believe me at workplace also we for sure run through all these components (OFNR) of NVC. For e.g.:

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When I interacted with my team, I sensed that my team is less collaborated. This worries me a lot since my need as a manager to achieve the sprint goal is hindered which in turn affects my organizational goal as well. So, Scrum Master could you please coordinate with my team and see what we can do differently so that the team gets more self-organized.

NVC has a specific framework (OFNR), but its less about the specifics of following the pattern and more about what the pattern represents. Just applying all the components and trying to match the pattern doesn’t mean you are applying NVC effectively rather it is manipulative and miscommunication of needs. For e.g.:

When I see the weird face, you made on hearing my Idea(assumption/judgment), I feel like… you are weird! Because I really need you to stop being weird…Would you please be willing to, …. stop making weird faces.

The above statement may look like matching the NVC framework but it is more like a Judgement-Assumption-Strategies-Demand Framework which can build more resentment and gap within the team.

If I translate this to NVC components it might more look like

Observation: I see the gestures that you are making.

Feeling: When I see this kind of gestures, I think or what crosses my mind is “You are not happy or you are not interested.” This makes me feel sad.

Need: I really need to express myself and need clarity on what exactly you are looking for.

Request: I really like to hear what’s happening within you.

This way NVC helps us to create an open communication which makes our own speechless harmful and clearer which, when applied at the workplace or at a personal level is game-changing.




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